Why get autistic, ADHD and AuDHD adults trapped near the finish line?

You start things with real excitement:

📚 a course
🎨 an art series
🧠 a blog or book
🛠 a new service or small business idea

You research deeply. You outline. You build systems. You do most of the work.

Then near the end something happens.

🧊 you cannot finish the last steps
🌫 you keep tweaking and reorganising
🧱 you avoid launching or showing anyone

Time passes. The project joins many others in a folder of almost finished work.

This article explores the ND Almost Project pattern. We will look at:

🧠 why autistic, ADHD and AuDHD adults get trapped near the finish line
🎭 how perfectionism, RSD and demand avoidance feed into it
🧰 gentle ways to move a little closer to done and shared
🌱 how to redefine success so your nervous system can tolerate finishing

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🧠 Why ND Brains Love Starting And Struggle With Finishing

Several ND traits make starting delicious and finishing scary.

💡 Starting Gives Safe Dopamine

Beginnings offer:

🌈 novelty
📚 research
🧰 planning

You can imagine future success without risk. Your brain gets:

⚡ hits of interest
✨ hits of hope

There is no audience yet, so rejection sensitivity is quiet.

🎯 Finishing Triggers Threat Systems

As you approach completion, stakes rise.

Your brain may think:

💭 “If I finish, people can judge it.”
💭 “If I share this, I could fail publicly.”
💭 “This might change my life and that is scary.”

Perfectionism jumps in to protect you:

🌧 “It is not ready yet.”
🌧 “I need to research more.”

In addition, the last steps are often:

📑 boring logistics
📣 outreach and communication
🧾 money and admin

which are hard for executive function and demand avoidance.

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🎭 The Mask Of Eternal Planning

For many ND people, constant planning and learning becomes a socially rewarded mask.

You may be seen as:

📚 thoughtful
🧠 full of potential
🧰 always preparing something interesting

As long as nothing is finished, that image stays intact. Finishing risks proving the internal critic right.

So the Almost Project keeps you safe in the role of promising person rather than tested person.

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🧭 Step One

Validate That Fear Of Finishing Makes Sense

Instead of:

❌ “I am ridiculous for never finishing”

try:

🌱 “Finishing exposes me to judgement, change and new demands. No wonder my system protects me.”

This does not mean you must stay stuck. It means you stop kicking yourself while already tense.

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🧰 Step Two

Shrink What “Finished” Means

ND perfectionism often sets the bar at impossible. You can experiment with smaller definitions.

Examples:

📘 “Finished for now means first version that works, not ultimate version.”
📢 “Launch means quietly telling three people, not announcing to everyone.”
🧪 “Complete means ready to test, not ready to scale.”

Write your own sentence:

📝 “For this project, finished means …”

and make it noticeably smaller than your first impulse.

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🧃 Step Three

Create A Soft Launch Path

A soft launch is a way to share that feels safer.

Ideas:

🌱 release a beta version to a small group of people who already like you or understand ND life
🌱 share one chapter of something instead of the whole book
🌱 open commissions or services to a tiny number of clients first

You can frame it as:

💬 “I am testing this, feedback welcome, it is version one.”

Your nervous system may tolerate “experiment” better than “final product”.

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🧑‍🤝‍🧑 Step Four

Use Co Regulation For The Final Steps

Finishing touches and launch actions are often where inertia and fear spike.

You can use:

🤝 body doubling sessions specifically for last ten percent tasks
📋 shared checklists with a trusted ND friend who is doing their own Almost Project
📱 tiny accountability messages such as “today I will do only the upload step”

The goal is not pressure. It is companionship through the scary part.

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🧱 Step Five

Plan For Aftermath Feelings

After you finish or share, you may experience:

🌪 shame spirals
🔍 over analysis of reactions
🌫 emotional crash

Plan soothing for the days after.

This might include:

🛏 extra rest
🧣 comfort media and sensory care
💬 chats with safe people who can remind you why you did this

You can write a short note for future you:

📝 “You will probably panic after this goes live. That does not mean it was wrong. It means your system is not used to being visible.”

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🌈 Bringing It Together

The ND Almost Project pattern is not laziness or lack of talent. It is what happens when:

💡 curious, creative, pattern seeing minds
⚡ ADHD dopamine patterns
🎭 autistic and ADHD rejection sensitivity
🧱 demand avoidance

all meet real world expectations.

You start because it feels good.
You stall because it feels dangerous.

You can move gently closer to finishing by:

🌱 validating your fear as logical
🌱 shrinking what finished has to mean
🌱 using soft launches and experiments
🌱 leaning on co regulation for final steps
🌱 planning care for the emotional after waves

You do not have to push yourself into full visibility overnight. Even one Almost Project that crosses the line into “good enough and shared” is a big nervous system victory.

You are not behind. You are learning how to carry your work through the places your brain is most afraid, with more kindness and more tools each time.