Sensory Seeking vs Sensory Avoidance in Neurodivergent Adults

Many autistic, ADHD and AuDHD adults describe their sensory world in ways that don’t match what people around them expect:

🗣 “Some things are too much — noise, lights, certain fabrics — I shut down.”
🗣 “Other times I’m craving more stimulation — music louder, movement, strong flavours.”
🗣 “Sometimes I’m both at once, and it’s confusing even to me.”

This is where sensory seeking vs sensory avoidance come in. They are not opposites you choose between, but different ways your nervous system tries to regulate itself.

This article explains what those terms mean in real life, why you can be both seeking and avoiding, and how to work with your sensory profile so life becomes more predictable and less draining. If ADHD is part of your picture, some of the reflection questions here pair well with mapping exercises from Your ADHD Personal Deepdive, which help you spot patterns in how your brain and body respond to different environments

🧠 What is sensory processing?

Sensory processing is how your nervous system:

👂 Receives input from the world (sound, light, touch, movement, smell, taste)
🧠 Filters, organises and interprets that input
🧍‍♀️ Produces a response (comfort, discomfort, alertness, calm, shutdown, seeking more)

In a typical sensory system, the brain:

🌡 Keeps input at a manageable level
🪟 Filters out irrelevant information (background noise, faint buzzes, slight clothing seams)
⚖️ Balances stimulation so you’re not constantly overloaded or under-stimulated

In many neurodivergent adults, the system behaves differently. It might:

🎧 Let in too much of certain types of input (hypersensitivity)
🔕 Filter too little, so everything feels equally “loud”
🧊 Register some input weakly, so you seek more of it to feel “awake” (hyposensitivity)

Sensory seeking and sensory avoidance are two broad ways your brain tries to self‑regulate under these conditions.

🎢 What is sensory seeking?

Sensory seeking is when your nervous system looks for more input in order to feel regulated, awake or focused.

It can be obvious or very subtle. In adults it often shows up as:

🎧 Turning music up louder than other people prefer
🧍‍♀️ Enjoying strong movement (pacing, rocking, dancing, swinging, workouts)
👅 Preferring intense flavours, crunchy foods, strong spices
🖐 Touching textures repeatedly (fabrics, beads, hair, surfaces)
🧠 Seeking visual stimulation (scrolling, videos, colour, busy patterns)

Sometimes sensory seeking is:

🧊 A way to stay present (if you tend to dissociate or zone out, strong input can anchor you)
⚡ A way to get enough stimulation to focus (especially in ADHD, where low‑stimulation tasks are hard to tolerate)
😌 A way to soothe — repetitive sensory input reduces anxiety or restlessness

Sensory seeking is not “attention‑seeking” in the social sense. It is regulation‑seeking at a nervous system level.

🎧 What is sensory avoidance?

Sensory avoidance is when your nervous system tries to limit or escape certain types of input because they are overwhelming, painful or exhausting.

In adults this often looks like:

🙅‍♀️ Avoiding loud venues: clubs, open‑plan offices, busy restaurants
📵 Lowering brightness, closing curtains, dimming lights, avoiding fluorescent lighting
🧥 Cutting tags out of clothes, preferring specific fabrics, avoiding tight or scratchy items
👃 Being strongly affected by smells (perfume, cleaning products, certain foods)
🕒 Leaving events early or needing more recovery time than others after being out

From the outside, this is often misunderstood as:

😒 “Fussy”, “overly picky”, “dramatic”, “too sensitive”

In reality, your system may be:

💣 Hitting overload quickly
🧱 Trying to prevent meltdown or shutdown
🔋 Conserving limited energy for the rest of the day

Sensory avoidance is not a character flaw. It is a safety and energy‑protection strategy.

⚖️ How you can be both sensory seeking and sensory avoiding

A key point: sensory seeking and sensory avoidance are not fixed personality types. The same person can:

🎧 Love loud music through headphones but hate background noise in a crowded restaurant
🧍‍♀️ Enjoy deep pressure (weighted blankets, tight hugs with consent) but dislike light touches
👅 Crave strong flavours but be overwhelmed by certain mixed textures

The pattern often depends on:

🎚 The specific sensory channel (sound vs touch vs light vs smell)
📍 The environment (home vs work vs public spaces)
🔋 Your current load (burnout, stress, sleep, masking)

For example:

🧠 On a low‑stress, well‑rested day, you might happily listen to energetic music and seek movement.
🔥 On a burnt‑out day, the same music may feel like an attack, and you avoid noise.

This is why mapping your own sensory profile in context — over days and weeks — is more useful than trying to label yourself as “a seeker” or “an avoider”. If ADHD is part of your picture, doing this mapping alongside broader self‑reflection (for example, in Your ADHD Personal Deepdive) can help you spot how sensory states interact with focus and energy.

🧩 Sensory patterns in autism, ADHD and AuDHD

Sensory differences are well‑recognised in autism, and increasingly studied in ADHD too.

🧩 Autism

Autistic adults commonly describe:

🎧 Strong sensitivities to sound, light, texture, taste or smell
🧵 Clear preferences in clothing, food, environments and routines
🧠 Repetitive sensory behaviours (stimming) that help regulate overwhelm or under‑stimulation
🧱 Rapid shifts into overload, meltdown or shutdown when sensory input stacks up

Autistic sensory profiles can be highly specific: one person might tolerate loud concerts with ear protection but be completely unable to cope with chewing noises or flickering office lights.

⚡ ADHD

ADHD was historically framed mostly around attention and hyperactivity, but research increasingly shows sensory processing differences are also common in ADHD adults.

Patterns can include:

🎧 Being under‑responsive to some input (not noticing mess or mild background noise until it becomes extreme)
⚡ Seeking stimulation to stay alert (music, fidgeting, constant movement, multiple screens)
😣 Finding “boring” environments physically uncomfortable, not just mentally dull

This helps explain why some people with ADHD:

📺 Always have something on in the background
💻 Work better with some noise but struggle in either total silence or chaotic sound
🧍‍♀️ Use movement, tapping, fidgets or gum to think clearly

Resources like ADHD Science and Research go into the brain mechanisms behind these patterns — for example, how under‑stimulation and dopamine systems may drive sensory seeking in ADHD.

🎢 AuDHD (Autism + ADHD)

AuDHD combines both sets of traits, leading to:

🎧 Strong sensory sensitivities (autistic side)
⚡ Strong stimulation‑seeking and restlessness (ADHD side)

This can feel like:

🙃 “I need stimulation to function, but too much stimulation overwhelms me very fast.”

AuDHD adults often benefit from very deliberate sensory design: choosing what kind of input they seek (predictable, controlled, self‑chosen) and what kind they avoid (unpredictable, out of their control).

🌡 Sensory overload, shutdown and meltdown

When sensory input exceeds your system’s capacity, you may experience:

💥 Meltdown — outward expression: crying, shouting, pacing, intense distress
❄️ Shutdown — inward collapse: going quiet, still, non‑verbal or minimally responsive
🧊 Dissociation — feeling unreal, detached, “not quite here”

Typical overload build‑up:

🎧 Multiple sensory channels active at once (noise + lights + smells + touch)
🧠 Simultaneous social and cognitive demands (small talk, decisions, instructions)
📆 Already tired or burnt out from earlier tasks

Because overload is cumulative, the trigger that “looks small” from the outside (a loud laugh, a dropped plate, someone touching you unexpectedly) may be the last straw, not the whole story.

Recognising which environments and combinations of input push you over the edge is one of the most protective things you can do for your nervous system.

🧭 Mapping your own sensory profile

Instead of relying on memory in the moment, it helps to map patterns over time.

You might keep a simple sensory log for a few weeks and note:

🧩 Which environments feel easiest (for example, quiet rooms, nature, dim lighting)
🎧 Which environments are reliably hard (crowded shops, open offices, public transport)
🧍‍♀️ What you instinctively do when stressed (pace, fidget, hide, turn music up, turn everything off)
🔋 When during the day your sensory tolerance is higher vs lower

You don’t need a complex system. Even a couple of lines a day can show trends.

Questions to consider:

🧠 “Which kinds of input calm me?”
⚡ “Which kinds of input wake me up?”
💣 “Which combinations almost always lead to overload?”

Many ADHD and AuDHD adults find it useful to combine this with broader energy and focus tracking — the kind of structured noticing practised in ADHD Coping Strategies — because sensory state, attention and burnout tend to move together.

🧰 Practical strategies: designing a sensory‑friendlier life

You can’t control every environment, but small, consistent shifts add up.

🏠 At home

Think about creating at least one sensory‑safe base:

🛏 A space with lighting you control (lamps instead of harsh overheads)
🎧 Options for sound (noise‑cancelling headphones, quiet playlists, silence)
🧸 Comfort items with preferred textures (blankets, pillows, clothing, fidgets)

You might also:

🍽 Keep a few “safe foods” available when your sensory tolerance for new textures is low
🌡 Adjust temperature and ventilation to reduce background discomfort

The goal is not aesthetic perfection; it’s having a reliable place where your system can come down.

🏢 At work or study

Depending on your context and comfort with disclosure, you might:

🎧 Use headphones or earplugs in noisy environments
💻 Ask for seating away from high‑traffic areas if possible
📅 Schedule very sensory/socially demanding tasks with buffer time before and after
📋 Break long meetings with short movement/stretch breaks (even if it’s just stepping out briefly)

Some ADHD‑oriented strategies — like body‑doubling, focused work blocks and planned breaks from ADHD Coping Strategies — can be adapted to also respect sensory load (for example, putting deep work sessions in your lowest‑noise part of the day).

👥 In relationships and social life

Explaining your sensory needs can prevent a lot of misinterpretation.

You might say:

💬 “I find loud places overwhelming. I’ll enjoy our time together more if we meet somewhere quieter.”
💬 “If I put on headphones at home, it’s not about ignoring you; it’s how I lower the noise in my brain.”
💬 “After big social events I need a lot of quiet time. If I’m less responsive the next day, assume I’m recharging, not upset with you.”

Partners, friends and family don’t need to understand every detail; they do need clear, concrete information about what helps and what doesn’t.

🧑‍⚕️ When to seek extra support

It may be worth involving a professional when:

🚩 Sensory overload leads to frequent meltdowns, shutdowns or panic
🚩 You avoid many everyday environments (shops, public transport, workspaces) because they feel unbearable
🚩 Sensory issues significantly affect eating, sleep or hygiene
🚩 You’re unsure whether what you experience is “typical” or part of autism, ADHD, trauma or a mix

Helpful options can include:

🧑‍⚕️ Occupational therapists experienced with sensory processing in adults
🧠 Clinicians who understand autism, ADHD and AuDHD, not just in children
🤝 ND‑led groups where people share practical sensory tools that work in real life

If ADHD is part of your diagnosis or suspicion, understanding the research on ADHD and sensory processing — for example through ADHD Science and Research — can make conversations with professionals more grounded and collaborative.

📘 Summary Sensory Seeking vs Sensory Avoidance

Sensory seeking and sensory avoidance are not opposites you choose between; they are two ways your nervous system tries to regulate itself in a world that may be too loud, too bright, too busy or not stimulating enough in the right ways.

Key points:

🧠 Sensory processing differences are common in autistic, ADHD and AuDHD adults.
🎢 Sensory seeking is about looking for more input to feel alert, grounded or soothed.
🎧 Sensory avoidance is about limiting input to prevent overload, pain or exhaustion.
⚖️ The same person can be both seeking and avoiding, depending on sense, context and current load.
🧰 Mapping your own sensory profile and adjusting environments, routines and communication can significantly reduce everyday strain.

A more helpful question than “Why am I so sensitive / weird about this?” is:

🧭 “Given the way my nervous system responds to sound, light, touch and movement, what can I change in my surroundings and routines so that my brain and body have a fair chance to function well?”