You may be supporting a partner, friend, family member or colleague who is neurodivergent. Perhaps you want to understand their experience, communicate more clearly or know what helps when they become overwhelmed.
This route helps you begin with the person’s own needs and preferences, then choose resources for your situation. Ask what kind of support they want and what they would prefer to handle themselves.
🌿 This route is for you if
🤝 You want to help but are unsure what would be useful
💬 Misunderstandings or difficult conversations keep repeating
🔊 You want to respond more helpfully to overload or shutdown
🏠 Everyday tasks or responsibilities are creating strain
🧭 You want support that respects both the person’s autonomy and your own needs
🧭 Start with a conversation about support
When the person has room for a conversation, ask: “What tends to make this harder, and what would help from me?” If speaking is difficult, offer a message or another format they prefer.
For a shared foundation, choose one of our free introductory courses.
🌿 Neurodiversity Basics for a broad introduction
⚡ ADHD Basics for understanding ADHD
🧩 Autism Basics for understanding autism
🔄 AuDHD Basics for understanding autism and ADHD together
🔊 If they are overloaded or shutting down
During intense overload, explanations and questions can become another demand. Where possible, reduce pressure, respect their communication preferences and follow any support plan you have agreed together.
🤝 How to Support Shutdown or Meltdown for practical responses
🧊 Autistic Shutdowns in Adults for understanding the experience
🔀 Comparing Shutdowns and Meltdowns for recognising different overload responses
When things are calmer, agree what to do next time: how they can signal difficulty, whether they prefer company or space, and how to reconnect afterwards. Sudden unfamiliar loss of speech or movement requires urgent medical assessment.
💬 If communication keeps becoming difficult
A missed message, quiet response or unfinished task may have several explanations. Ask about the specific situation before drawing conclusions about what the person meant.
👥 How to Explain AuDHD to Family and Friends for finding shared language
❤️ How to Explain AuDHD to a Partner for building shared understanding
🌉 The Double Empathy Problem for exploring differences in mutual understanding
💬 Overload in Neurodivergent Relationships for recognising and changing recurring conflict patterns
One change to try together: Agree how to pause a difficult conversation and when to return to it. A clear plan can make the pause easier for both people.
🏠 If everyday demands are the main difficulty
Make offers specific: “Would it help if I handled dinner tonight?” may be easier to answer than “Let me know if you need anything.” Check before stepping in, and revisit the arrangement as needs change.
🛠️ Practical Support for Daily Life for task, home and sensory support
🔥 Burnout, Overload and Shutdown when reduced capacity or recovery is central
Your needs matter too. Aim for clear agreements about responsibilities, available help and boundaries that both people can sustain.
🎓 Guided courses for supporters
These paid courses focus on particular support needs. Choose the one that matches the difficulty you are trying to understand.
⚡ Supporting Someone with ADHD for understanding ADHD and everyday support
🌊 Supporting Someone with Anxiety for anxiety and supportive communication
⭐ Supporting Someone with Low Self Esteem for understanding and responding to low self esteem
🪞 Three questions to take with you
💬 Have I asked what support this person wants?
🔎 Could I reduce a specific demand or misunderstanding?
🤝 Is our agreement realistic and respectful for both of us?
↪️ Choose your next step
🪞 Personal patterns and needs if the person wants to explore their own experience
🛠️ Practical support for daily life to choose an adjustment together
🔬 Science and research for deeper explanations